Are you experiencing a long break in your sex life? You’re not in sync, and everything feels boring.
It is normal. But that doesn’t mean it needs to be this way.
People in long-term relationships, busy schedules, and long-distance relationships have similar experiences when it comes to sexual intimacy, wondering how to spice up a relationship.
Your love life should be filled with intense passion and desire for each other. Make love whenever you can.
Why is a Spicy Relationship Really Important?
You must be thinking, why sex? Why is that so important? It’s not just about sex.
It creates a more intimate emotional bond that can make the relationship grow stronger than ever.
A healthy, happy relationship without spice can feel dry and empty.
Oftentimes, we get busy in our lives, and sex gets neglected.
And without realizing it, a rift begins in the relationship. To keep the spark alive, it’s important you try new things together in life, in private, and in bed.
How do I Tell My Partner I Want to Try Something New?
First, make sure that your relationship is in a good place.
Remember, if the relationship is not in a good place, anything you say can become awkward.
Make sure you know what you want and are comfortable with.
- Know Your Interests: Something you would like to try won’t interest your partner, and vice versa. Be in open communication about your interests.
- Acknowledge Your Partner’s Needs: Make sure to acknowledge them when they open up to you. Leave the door open for them if they have something new they want to try.
- Address Their Strengths: Let them know what you love about them as you make love to them. Make them feel special and loved.
- Accept if They Say No: Don’t argue if they say no. It’s a personal choice. Accept their refusal and let them know its okay.
- Keep Things Slow: If you feel everything is moving too fast, you can ask your partner to slow things down.
But consent is top tier. Do not compromise in your communication, talk about your emotional and sexual relationship needs.
How to Spice Up a Relationship?
Spicing things up in your relationship can mean trying the unusual. Like doing something for the first time.
Ways to Spice Up Your Relationship Again
A relationship always needs attention and fuel to keep it alive. There are some ways you should never ignore.
1. Flirting
Are you in a new relationship? Or is it a slightly longer relationship? Flirting through texts is creative, playful, and sexy. What might seem merely a text can become something wild.
Sexting or playful texting can make your partner crave you and add an element of secrecy.
2. Dirty Talk
Dirty talk is storytelling your needs, creating fantasies, and describing what you want to do to your partner.
Research in sexual psychology shows verbal communication during intimacy can increase emotional closeness, not just arousal. [Source: BCM]
You can use your words to convey your sexual desires, such as “touch here,” touch there,” “harder,” “softer,” “more,” “less,” “faster,” and “slower.”
It releases the hormones dopamine and oxytocin.
Be open to your partner’s preferences. It’s about enjoying.
Dirty talking can increase arousal and build an intense physical and emotional connection.
3. Massage
Who doesn’t like a good massage?
Light some scented candles, make the bed, put on fresh towels, and play their favourite music. Get scented massage oil, and find out their erogenous zones.
Massage their lower back, thighs, and neck. Figure out where and how your partner likes it.
4. Do Not Time Your Sex Life
Putting your sex on the calendar can feel like unnecessary pressure.
Let your sexual life be impromptu, go with the flow, and more on quick plans. If you have kids, plan a time or schedule other activities accordingly.
Your sex life doesn’t have to suffer because of the kids.
5. Foreplay
Are you bored with the kissing and getting straight into play?
Don’t do that. Start with forerplay. Kiss and tease your partner’s body parts, especially sensitive areas such as the neck, thighs, and earlobes.
Blue Pearl Therapeutic says, “Many women look to foreplay as a fun, sexually engaging predecessor to sex that can actually build their own self-confidence and change how they approach sex in general.”
Foreplay makes your experience so much different and creates a deeper emotional bond.
How to Spice Up a Relationship After Marriage?
These cute ways keep the spark alive, make your partner feel loved, and help you know them better.
6. Recreate Your First Date
Remember where you went for your first date?
Go ask them out for your “the first date” you had and recreate everything you did together.
Pick up some flowers, make a reservation, and relive the moment. Talk about how things have changed and how you’ve grown together as a couple.
7. Connecting Fridays
Why is it called “connecting fridays”?
On Fridays, every week, sit down and talk. Talk about your work growth, personal growth, and downfalls as well. Communicate thoroughly about your relationship and anything you want to say.
Set it on any random day of the week, and make it your own little tradition.
8. Cook or Bake Together
Go get matching aprons, put on some music, and pour yourselves some wine.
Cooking or baking together gives a sense of accomplishment, making something together. It feels good.
Make it a date, gather the ingredients, and start baking or cooking.
9. Go For a Staycation
Go away on the weekends, even if it’s for a day. Get yourselves a room, relax, have fun, play video games, or make love. It’s all up to you.
You make the plans, or go with the flow. No other tasks to focus on, its just you and your partner.
How to Spice Up a Relationship When You Live Together?
This allows you to spend some time together while you try out new restaurants, activities, and new things in bed.
10. Try New Restaurants Every Month
Are you a couple with an exquisite taste for cuisines?
If you’re that couple, then make this your tradition. A new, fun thing to do every month. Go out for lunch or dinner. Try new cuisines and share your likes and dislikes.
Mainly, its becomes a monthly fixed date.
11. Try New Locations
Bored of doing it in the same bed? Same room?
Try changing things up a little by changing places. Shift into the living room or the couch; you can even try it in the kitchen. Spicing things up is trying new things.
Don’t hesitate to let your partner know if you have any desires.
12. Get in the Shower
You must try this at least once. Go get your partner into the shower.
This can take intimacy to another level. Tease, touch, and make love. It can be interesting given the change of location and a new position to try out.
13. Learn New Things Together
Learning new things together sounds fun.
You should imagine a moment when both of you don’t know something, and how much fun it will be doing them together for the first time.
Between the fun and helping each other figure it out, you’ll get closer.
14. Trying New Positions
Wanting to try new things and haven’t thought about trying new positions?
Think of it now. New positions give a sense of excitement, help you find out what more you like and dislike while making love.
Try new angles, positions, and something you’ve only ever heard about.
15. Experiment with Toys
Ask your partner. Do not surprise them with it.
While involving toys in your intimate times, always take your partner’s consent and give them yours. Make sure to communicate and understand each other’s limits.
However, it can be a fun new thing that can spice up your time in bed.
16. Roleplay
Roleplaying is, in itself, something so interesting. Add different personalities to your sex life.
Dress up, get ready, and add props. It is more like living your fantasy.
Remember to be relaxed throughout and be open to the experience, as that is the purpose.
17. Mutual Pleasure
Mutual masturbation is pleasuring your own selves infront of each other, which adds to your visual pleasures.
It’s the best way to find out each other’s pleasures, and to simply build trust and intimacy.
This is actually a technique commonly recommended in couples therapy to rebuild physical trust after a dry spell.
How to Spice up a Relationship When it Gets Boring?
Bored with the same old schedule? Try these fun activities to spice up your relationship in a fun little way.
18. Stay Active Together
Are you a fan of physical activities such as exercise, rock climbing, or hiking?
You can try it out to spice up your relationship, both physically and emotionally.
Doing physical activities together nurtures emotional connection and improves your bond.
19. Play Games
Bring on some food, drinks, and music. Set the mood. And let the game begin.
Start the game, set some mutual rules, and whoever loses gets to do something or strip. Or get a deck of truth-or-dare cards, the “intimate edition,” and get started.
20. Dancing
It is as simple as it sounds, just DANCE your hearts out.
Play your favourite songs, dress up if you want to, and vibe with your partner. Put on some romantic, sensual, or trance music to set the mood.
You can change the light colors to make it feel like more of a real experience.
21. Plan Random Dates
Dates don’t have to involve restaurants and cafes.
Spice things up by including new date ideas, such as crafty or sporty activities, travelling, and even a date night at home where you cook together.
Dates are supposed to be memorable, fun, and spicy. Try new things on every date.
22. Take a Trip
Have a dream trip pending? Take it now. Want to go somewhere near? Take it.
Travelling together gives you a new perspective on relationships, bonds, and teamwork. It’ll help you understand each other better.
Also, it gives you time for your intimate moments.
23. Create a Sex Playlist Together
The Weekend, or Nicki Minaj? You don’t have to choose.
Create a playlist for the sexy times, so that random songs don’t start playing. Take turns to add your favourite songs to play during sex to make it more interesting.
24. Go For a Long Ride
Feeling lost in connection with your partner?
Go for a long drive, just you and your partner. No destination decided, no plans. Dress up if you feel like it or go in your pajamas.
Go stargazing, drive by a beach, or just drive on an empty road with music blasting in your car.
25. Surprise Your Partner
Be it a flower, a gift, a night out, or something in bed. Surprise your partner.
It’s not even about doing big things. Even doing the small things has a major impact.
Leave sticky notes around the house with something written on it, text “I love you’s” randomly throughout the day, or bring them their favourite food without them asking.
How to Spice Up a Relationship When You Have Kids?
26. Get Some Alone Time
Its sounds the very opposite of spicing up a relationship. But it is necessary to create a healthy relationship.
Take charge of your child, if you have one, and let your partner take a time off everything, be it work, home duties, and sometimes even yourself.
Take turns and take some time alone to reflect, plan, or just relax.
27. Being Sexy Around Each Other
Marriage, and kids? No time or mood for any sexy time?
Well, its time to come to your senses. Bring back your sexy times. Dress up, or stay cozy, cuddle, hold hands, cook together, or make love. Find your way.
Don’t forget that a little intimacy can help make or break your relationship.
28. No Kids Travel
As harsh as it can sound, but its important.
Leave your kids at home, with your parents, in-laws, or friends, and go for that trip you’ve been delaying or had to cancel because you have kids to take care of.
Go on a weekend getaway and relive it as a couple, not as “parents.”
29. Practical Date Nights
Make plans for practical date nights, a fixed-budget date, or go all out.
Go to those fancy restaurants, or take an evening trek. See a movie, after your kids sleep, and many more.
Take time out for your relationships and make them worth it. Forget about everything else, and focus on your partner, listen to them, and share your stories.
30. Understand Your Partner’s Love Language
Understand what your partner really yearns for in love.
Show your affection the way they want to be loved.
Let them know you care and put in effort. Life after kids can change a lot, but let your partner feel that they are not alone in this.
Gary Chapman’s five love languages framework is a good starting point here, understanding whether your partner needs words of affirmation versus quality time changes how you show up entirely.
31. Sleep in Peace
The easiest way to spice up your relationship, yet the hardest, talk.
Talk before you sleep.
Talk about how your day was, talk about what bothered you, and talk about that disagreement you had. Communicate, and make sure you don’t go to sleep mad at each other.
How to Spice Up Your Long-Distance Relationship?
32. Set a Routine
Fix a routine to talk to them.
Be it in the morning or before you sleep, take out time for each other and FaceTime. Doesn’t matter how busy you are, CALL THEM.
This is completely non-negotiable.
33. Do Not Forget the Sex
Yes. Keep up the sex.
Virtual sex? Obviously. A new experience and a way to connect with each other in different spaces.
Don’t let the distance stop you from that sex. It should be as often as you would if you were together, and that’s how you keep the spark alive while making your partner feel loved.
34. Surprise Visit
Its been a long time since you’ve met.
Go book a ticket, and surprise them. Visit their place, take some flowers and chocolates, and knock on their door. And congrats, you have a partner who feels really special.
Surprise visits should come uninvited. Remember.
35. Send Them Gifts
When it comes to gifting your partner, it doesn’t necessarily have to be something expensive to be a “gift”.
Order them their favourite food, favourite flowers, or something they’ve been eyeing.
Also, remember to add a customized note.
36. Write a Letter
Yes, write an actual letter.
Gather some papers, pens, crayons, markers, and some stickers. Start writing.
You don’t have to be a pro, but write with your heart. Write how you feel, and something sweet. Do not forget to tell them, “how much I miss you.”
How to Spice Up a Relationship over Texts?
37. Sexting
Sexting is top tier and highly non-negotiable, guys.
Drop in that naughty text in the middle of the day, it should be passionate and absolutely show how much you’re yearning for them.
And in fact, if you feel comfortable, send them that picture to make it more interesting.
38. Checking in Texts
Drop a text throughout the day.
See how they’re doing and let them know you’re thinking about them. This might make your partner feel important and special.
And guys, this goes without saying, always wish them a “good morning” and “good night.”
39. Romantic Texts
“Oh, how lucky I’m to have you.”
Yes, that simple.
Send them a message saying how beautiful they looked today, how special they make you feel, and maybe how you want to marry them one day. Be romantic, be chalant.
Why is it Important to Try New Things?
Have you heard anyone say that they’re losing their spark or interest in their relationships?
It happens. And its normal. But doesn’t have to happen.
Trying new things changes the narrative. It adds interest, fun, spice, and something special to your relationship. Things you used to do in your relationship can change or be done differently.
Altering it brings in a new perspective.
Go make new plans and new experiences. Bring back your spark.
Wrap Up
Serious, healthy relationships require fun and new things to stay interesting.
If your relationship is hitting the rock bottom, then communicate with your partner on how to spice up a relationship and get to work.
What if all your relationships needed was a little fun?
